Intimacy is a scary word for guys! However, the word simply means “close familiarity or fellowship; nearness in friendship.” In this sense it is actually what God created us for! He created us to know him not in some distant way, but personally (1 John 1:1-3; Philippians 3:7-10; Psalm 42:1-2). For those who are married, God also created us for intimacy with our wives—for a one-flesh relationship (Genesis 2:18, 24; Ephesians 5:25-28; 1 Peter 3:7). Finally, God created us for intimacy with other men—to encourage one another, to hold each other accountable and to love one another (Proverbs 17:17, 27:17; Romans 12:10).

Integrity comes from a Latin word that means “soundness, wholeness, and/or completeness.” For a Christian it means that we cannot divorce what we say, do or think from what we say we believe. (1 Chronicles 29:17; Psalm 26:9-12, 101:1-5; Proverbs 19:1, 20:7; Titus 2:7). Its opposites are dishonesty and hypocrisy. For the Christian man his profession and his practice should match up—no hidden agendas, no hidden messages, no making yourself out to be something you are not. Integrity shows when our convictions and choices on Monday-Saturday match the ones we have on Sundays.

God has placed each of us in a sphere where we have influence over others. Sometimes this influence is just by the example we set (1 Timothy 4:12; Titus 2:7, John 13:35). Sometimes this influence is more intentional (1 Timothy 2:2; Philippians 3:17, 4:8-9; 1 Corinthians 11:1). Sometimes this influence is appointed by God in the roles he has called us to fulfill as those who are older (Psalm 71:18) or as officers in the church, leaders in our home and the like (1 Timothy 3:1; Titus 2:1-7; Ephesians 5:23). This influence extends to every area of life.

While positionally we are made “godly” as a result of Christ’s righteousness being imputed to us, learning to live godly lives takes time and effort. Indeed, there is nothing passive about becoming godly, about becoming the man God calls for us to be. Scripture calls for us to intentionally choose who we are going to serve (Joshua 24:15), to step up and act like men (1 Corinthians 16:13-14), to actively set an example for others (1 Timothy 4:12), to train ourselves to be godly (1 Timothy 4:7-8), to “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Timothy 2:22), to stir one another up to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24-25), to work diligently as unto the Lord (Proverbs 10:4; Ephesians 6:5-8), to train up our children Deuteronomy 11:18-20; Proverbs 22:6), to use your gifts in the church (Ephesians 4:11-16) and much more! Never is there a command to coast, to stop tending to your spiritual life, to simply co-exist with your wife, to let your children “do it their way,” to just attend church, etc.